Screw It on a Little Straighter

10/05/2020

“God damn it. I gotta stop this. The worst case scenario is my best friend at the moment. It keeps me from acting on impulse—maybe from speaking my mind. The thought of not having you around is far worse than any other thought that might try to dominate my headspace. I can’t ruin this. This weekend was spent in Joplin. I met your farm and watched you gamble. I refrained from telling you how great the veins in your arms looked and stole glances from a distance, the way I should.”

The back and forth thought processing is so real, and still something I struggle with daily.

Your friendship is irreplaceable so the thought of putting that friendship in jeopardy terrifies me.

I want you to know that I’m intentional about you. And I think you know that because I can see how intentional you are with me. In wording, actions, promises, and even the way we touch.

At the end of the day, I hope that we both will always prioritize where our relationship came from and honor that foundation.

I pray we never get to a day where we have to navigate back to the space where we are only friends; but even if we find ourselves there, I assure you I’ll do anything I can to hold onto your friendship for the rest of my life.

My promise to you through this all is to always be upfront and honest, and to always consider your feelings in my actions. I’ve learned that in relationships, people naturally evolve but the minute one person stops considering the other is when things start to bend and break.

Even if this doesn’t work out, I promise to always keep you at the core.

After all, we took out an insurance policy.

xoxo

LJ